Drakken x Shego Drabbles!
by motorized-sasquatch
Summary: These are my contributions to a list of 100 DS drabbles, written by the members of RSnet. Look for all 100 to be posted here by DrakkenShegoProjects in the future.


Basically, someone at a popular Kim Possible message board started this project. 100 drabbles about Drakken and Shego, based on random drabble topics picked from somewhere else (livejournal?). Drakken and Shego are my favorite KP couple by far, so of course I was all over that like beards on ZZ Top.

Anyway, all 100 have been written, and they're in the process of being uploaded by a member called DrakkenShegoProjects at this site, but that seems to have stalled. I'm uploading mine just for the heck of it. Maybe it'll drum up some interest for the full list that DrakkenShegoProjects will be uploading.

Anyway, enjoy! OF course, these are only drabbles so they're not anywhere near as good as a real fanfic, but I think they're still fun. If you like, or even if you don't like, reviews saying so are always appreciated.

**

* * *

1. Beginnings.**

_BAD DUDES MAGAZINE - CLASSIFIEDS_

WANTED: SIDEKICK/GENERAL ASSISTANT FOR WORLD DOMINATION/CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE

Dr. Drakken, startup world-domination mad scientist and Dr. of Evil, is currently accepting applications for the position of sidekick. Candidate will possess a strong background or formal training in hand-to-hand combat, espionage, theft, driving, stealing candy from infants, and general evil. Excellent pay and benefits. Living quarters provided if needed. Experience is preferred, but will train correct person. Superpowers and the correct attitude are always a plus! Bonuses, karaoke nights, and other incentives awarded for good performance or the ability to keep my annoying, Overbearing, WON'T LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE mother at bay. If you have worked for Professor Dementor in the past please do not apply.

Dr. Drakken is an equal opportunity employer.

Send all resumes to:

ATTN: Dr. Drakken

1 Scary Carribbean Island Place, Drakken's Island, the Caribbean

or call 1-555-BLUE-GUY.

_"Why am I even responding to this?"_ muttered a green-hued young woman to herself as she placed a resume in an envelope...

* * *

**2. Middles**

Shego was stunned by the changes to Dr. D. "That's taking casual Fridays WAY too far!"

Drakken's response was to take another bite of his cupcake before asking. "And jusht what do you mean, Sssshego?"

"What do I mean?! THIS is what I mean!" squawked Shego as she jumped up and grabbed Drakken's sweatclothes with one hand and poked his expanding middle with the other. "What are you doing to yourself?!"

"I'm just trying to get rid of the cupcakes!" Drakken stuffed another one in his mouth.

"You sure that's all it is?" asked Shego. "I knew you had a sweet tooth, but this is ridiculous. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to drown your stress in...cupcakes."

Dr. D tried to keep a facade of control, but broke down in seconds under Shego's gaze.

"BAAAW!! Shego! Do you have ANY idea how close we were to world domination? Almost as close as we were with the Diablos! EVERYTHING was in place! Everything was running smoothly! Do you KNOW how LONG it's been since we've had that kind of positive cash flow?! Not since before the cheerleader and her buffoon showed up. And now what do I have to show for it!? " he sobbed.

Dr. D ended his monologue by unceremoniously plopping down onto a box of cupcakes and crossing his arms, sulking.

"Well, you got me." answered Shego, garnering a confused look from Drakken. "But before I let this pity fiesta continue, there's something I've got to do for your own good. Binge-eating isn't the answer, Dr. D."

Dr. Drakken watched in fascination as Shego flared up her plasma and reduced hundreds of boxes of cupcakes to nothing but smoke and ash.

* * *

**5. Outsides**

Shego knew all about survival. It sorta came with the villain territory. Finding your own shelter, water, food, etc. was nothing she couldn't handle. So, hiding in a dense clump of trees and rocks for the night while GJ hoverjets circled the area with spotlights ablaze was not a tough task.

Still, she considered herself an indoor girl, preferring a soft bed and a microwave to sleeping on rocks and foraging.

'But, sleeping under the stars has some benefits.' she thought with a smirk as she and Dr. Drakken huddled closer together under their shared emergency blanket, trying to find any extra warmth. She listened for the hoverjet engines grow more distant before she leaned on Dr. D's shoulder and drifted off.

* * *

**18. Black**

Carribbean storms were nothing to trifle with. First, the storm had taken out the main power to the lair. Then, as luck would have it, an errant bolt of lightning fried the battery-operated fuel pump on Drakken's huge diesel-powered electric generator. The lair's interior was bathed in pitch black.

"Jeez, I can't see anything! Haven't you ever heard of _windows_, you big blue dolt?!"

"Windows arent' very super-villain-y, Shego!" was Drakken's half-hearted retort.

Drakken put his arms out and began to stumble in the general direction of the storage locker where he was pretty sure he kept a battery-operated lantern. Shego had just realized that her hands could provide all the light she needed and was about to flare them up when something bulky and heavy crashed into her.

"Waagh!"

"Agh! Hey!"

In the quiet blackness of the lair, the collision seemed deafening.

"Shego, are you still there?" he called out to the darkness. "I'm okay, I fell on something...soft, and...squishy.." he squeezed with both hands. "What is this, anyway?"

The blackness suddenly lit up to a bright green. Drakken blinked, and then recoiled in terror as he noticed where he was, and where his hands were.

"Shego! I'm sorry, I...uh...accident...and..." the blue man was spluttering and probably petrified.

"Dr. D, you've got two choices here. You can either run for your life..." Drakken looked like he was considering doing just that. "Or, you can keep doing exactly what you're doing." Shego fixed her gaze upon him.

Drakken blinked in confusion for a moment, before realization set in. A leer formed on his face before he began to lean towards Shego.

And once again, the inside of the lair went pitch black.

* * *

**029. Birth.**

"BUT I WANT THE CAMARO!" Whined the grouchy blue man as he stood on the dealership floor.

"Why? Because your idiot cousin has one? We don't need a gas-guzzling V8 sports car, Mr. Midlife Crisis!" Retorted the equally irritated green woman. "We need a practical vehicle."

The poor sales drone had no idea what to do with the bickering, oddly-hued couple. He was certain that he'd seen some sort of ray gun tucked into the blue man's belt, and he wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure he'd seen the green lady's hands light up with a strange pulsating green fire.

The blue man continued, undeterred "Why practical? It's just the two of us!"

"What if I told you it wasn't going to be just the two of us for much longer?"

The blue man looked confused for a second. Then his features registered shock as he understood what she was saying.

"Shego?"

"That's right, Drew."

The blue man suddenly turned to the greasy, tie-wearing car salesman, and after a glance at the nametag clipped to the salesdrone's tie said "Well...Reggie...we'd like to test-drive the hybrid minivan over there..."

* * *

**30. Death**

"Oh why?! Why did this have to happen!?" Dr. D was hunched over the small gravestone, sobbing uncontrollably.

He'd lost more than just a friend or a sidekick. He'd lost a partner. A mean, occasionally unstable, never-followed-directions partner. He felt like his life would never be whole again.

A sympathetic voice reached his ears. "Come on Dr. D, let's get out of the rain and go home." said Shego, as she gently lifted Dr. D up and gave him a soft, one-armed embrace around the shoulders.

He took a deep breath and composed himself. "All right, Shego." Shego kept her arm around him and decided to make him some warm cocoa moo as soon as they were home.

As they were walking away, Dr. D took one last glance at the stone.

Commodore Puddles. 1996-2008

* * *

**51. Water**

Shego knew that Dr. D was quite a bit older than she was, and was therefore into different music, among other things. She also knew that the song he was humming incessantly was an all-time rock classic.

That didn't make it any less annoying.

She buried her face into her _Grumpy Woman_ magazine and tried to shut out the sound, to no avail. Only a second later, the final straw came when she heard a gravelly, off-key voice ringing out.

"SMOOOOOOOOOKE on the..."

"DR. D! THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"....water?" Finished Dr. D.

He didn't get to say anything else before green plasma blasts had him running out of the room as fast as his blue legs would carry him.

* * *

**57. Lunch**

"Dr. D, would you just make up your mind already?" muttered an increasingly impatient Shego.

"I'll decide when I'm good and ready, Shego! This is a delicate matter!" Drakken sounded equally annoyed.

He continued, rubbing his chin. "This option is a good value, but that one looks to be of much higher quality..."

"THAT'S IT! Drew, you've got 3 seconds to choose something before I kill you!"

As the strange couple in the equally strange hovering car escalated their argument, the zit-faced teen running the MacDowell's drive-thru had only one thought.

_This is so not worth $6 an hour.

* * *

  
_

**60. Drink**

It was a nondescript house in a nice middle-class Midwestern suburb. A blue minivan and a green sedan were parked on the driveway. A huge gray SUV with Jersey plates was parked on the street in front of the house.

A blue man with close-cropped black hair sat on a swing on the backyard deck, idly clinking the ice cubes in his martini. He was dressed in a t-shirt, sandals, and khaki shorts. He glanced over to his left and saw a burly blonde man and his petite blonde wife standing near a lit grill and chatting happily while they kept watch on the meat and sipped from their beer bottles. They were both dressed in simple jean shorts and t-shirts. It was the picture of suburban tranquility. Certainly not the place you'd expect to find four ex-cons, two of whom had been on the FBI's Most Wanted list.

The blue man sighed quietly and took a sip of his drink. A quiet drink was perfect on nice days like this. He began to think about his past and present. It was almost as though he were narrating to somebody in his head.

_...after we stopped the invasion, the UN and the U.S. government offered us safety and peace, as long as we would cease all world-domination activities. A sort of 'witness protection program' if you will. We weren't the only ones to get the offer. My cousin over there used to be in the same business as me. Most of us took the offer. After the invasion, the world's leaders had bigger fish to fry than a bunch of kooky villains. And the Lorwardians had opened our eyes up to just how pointless it would be to try to control a whole planet. None of us would've been able to keep our grip on Earth had we been in control at the invasion's start._

_It's hard to believe how much things have changed._

_Anything we wanted was a hovercar ride away. Free technology and weapons. The keys to dozens of lairs, all over the world. We could spend twenty or thirty grand in a single minute on a world domination scheme. Big deal, it's not like we'd earned the money.  
It didn't matter. When we were broke or short on parts, we'd just go out and steal some more. Nobody cold stop us. Cops? GJ Agents? A joke. We didn't need lawyers. Judges feared us. They knew what a guilty verdict meant for their life expectancies. Everybody's hands were out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over.  
That's the hardest part. Today, everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent tech and parts. Right after I got here, I wanted some cold-fusion power cells to provide electricity for the house. The best I could find was a solar panel and some lead-acid batteries. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook._

He was jarred from his thoughts by the back door noisily sliding open and 2 black-haired little boys charging out across the deck and into the yard. A tomboyish blonde girl was hot on their heels. A very pale woman with short black hair and green eyes, dressed in capri pants and a green top followed them out. She was carrying a large bowl of fruit salad in one hand and an iced tea in the other. She set the bowl down on the picnic table and joined the blue man on the swing. He put his arm around her as she leaned against him and they watched the three children tromp across the backyard.

"Hey cuz! The steaks are done! Let's eat, seriously!" the large blonde man was walking towards the picnic table with a pan of sirloins.

"Come on and eat, kids! It's gonna be pretty freaky if you don't get any dinner!" the blonde lady called out to the children, who came running.

As the blue man and his wife stood up to make their way to the picnic table, he took another sip of his drink and smiled at her.

_I don't think I'd trade being an average schnook for anything.

* * *

  
_

**71. Broken**

"Okay, that was...interesting" wheezed Dr. Drakken.

"Tell me about it" agreed an equally winded Shego. "Didn't I tell you there were better options than just missionary in the dark?" She added with a gigglesnort.

"I really wasn't expecting that plasma explosion, Shego." He murmured with a slight smirk, ignoring Shego's comment.

"Look, that sometimes happens, when I...you know....hard, so get used to it. And don't get directly in front of the hands."

"Maybe I should stick to the missionary in the dark, then."

"Not a chance in hell, Blueboy."

As the two of them surveyed what was left of Drakken's bedroom, they both had similar thoughts.

_Where are we going to get another big, round, red bed?

* * *

  
_

**87. Life**

"NNGGH! This game is stupid!" groused the blue Doctor of Evil as he fiddled with his fake money and playing cards.

"I can't say I disagree Mario, but since it's your fault we're both stuck here, let's just make the best of it, okay? Besides, this is still better than karaoke." Shego was kind enough not to further needle the Doc about the spectacular hovercar crash that had broken one of his arms and one of her legs after he'd crashed it while testing some 'new modifications' he'd made.

"Nnngh! Whatever! Just play."

"Oh, look Dr. D! You just had a boy! And he's blue just like you, how cute!" mocked Shego with false sweetness as she stuck a peg into Drakken's little plastic minivan.

"Oooh...just when I thought I couldn't hate this stupid game any more..." Drakken looked like he was ready to spit.

"What's the matter, Dr. D? Don't like kids? Planning on having some of your own, someday, hmmm?" Shego just loved to tease.

Drakken paled. "Uh...er...well, maybe in the future...if I meet the right lady of course, and mother approves of her, and if I can let my career take a back seat to a family and...er...um..." he tugged at his collar and seemed to be sweating.

Shego was a bit taken aback by Dr. D's sudden change in attitude. "Easy there, Dr. D. Just play the game." She decided to lighten the mood a little. "Besides, where are you going to find a girl who wants to marry and start a family with you?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Ms. Attitude!" Drakken retorted as he seemed to find his bearings. "When you shop for a husband you'll have to look in the 'masochists' section!"

Shego ignored him. "Oh, look! You just had a girl! Oooh, pink! Maybe she's DNAmy's!"

"NNNNNGH!! I hate this game!"

* * *

**93. Thanksgiving**

The former mad scientist turned mad amateur chef was having a glorious time in his lair's kitchen area.

"SHEGO! BEHOLD! With my new invention, the _PoultrySizzle 5000_, this will be THE GREATEST FRIED THANKSGIVING TURKEY EVER! " crowed the blue man before throwing his hands in the air and letting loose his trademark villain laugh.

"Uh yeah, Dr. D. Listen, I'm all about the villainous flair, even if we aren't really villains anymore. But the pink apron that says 'Kiss the Cook?' So not working with the evil laugh."

"But Shego..." muttered a thoroughly wounded Dr. Drakken, "mother gave me this apron for my birthday!"

* * *

**.095 - New Year.**

Pounding headache.

Cotton mouth.

Churning stomach.

Wobbly legs.

Shego had it all. And now she had to get to the bathroom. Quickly. No easy feat in this kind of condition.

As she staggered off to the bathroom, she absently knocked some confetti and ribbon out of her hair and off of her clothing.

As she crashed through the door, she barely noticed the pair of henchmen asleep in the bathtub (both clutching bottles of Tennessee's finest) before she found herself violently paying tribute to the porcelain gods.

As she was ralphing, she became aware that somebody was pulling her rather substantial mane of hair back and out of the path of last night's food and alcohol consumption. As the first round came to a close, she looked up to see who it was.

Looking down on her was a bulky blue man with bigger-than-usual dark circles under his eyes, his shirt on backwards, and wild, unkempt sleep-hair capped off by an obnoxious party hat. He gave her a small, reassuring smile and had a look of quiet concern in his eyes. She returned the small smile.

"Thanks, Dr. D"

His only response was a quiet 'mmhmm' before the next round began and Shego once again found herself making a call on the big white phone.

* * *

**Writer's choice: 99. Rumors.**

It was kind of an unusual event, a group of international supervillains gathered together for a card game, but in the wake of last year's alien invasions, none of these villains were doing much lately.

"So, have any of you ladies or gentlemen heard the rumors about Dr. Drakken and Ms. Shego?" asked Senor Senior Sr. in his usual impeccable manner as he dealt a hand.

"Like, I heard the blue weirdo and the tacky green girl were dating." said Camille Leon in a disinterested manner as she studied her cards.

"Aye, I've heard rumors as well." piped up Duff Killigan. "I dinnae about what the lass heard" Duff motioned to Camille "but I hear they be married already."

Everyone turned to look at Motor Ed.

"Hey, don't look at me, seriously! I never hear from Cousin Drew anymore."

"Vell, if what ze golfing man says iz true, I vould like to know where they are registered so I can BUY ZEM A NICE VEDDING PREZENT!" exclaimed Professor Dementor as everybody else covered their ears and winced.

"I bet you can't guess what Iiiiii've heard!" sing-songed DNAmy.

"Oh? What have you heard, Ms. Hall?" asked Senor Senior.

"I've heard that they're already expecting a baby!" everyone gasped. "Oooh-hoo-hoo, I'm sure their newborn will just be the Cutest Baby Ever! Don't you agree Montykins?" she asked as she tickled Monkey Fist under his chin. The statue had no comment.

"Well then, which of th' rumors be true? Are Drakken and Shego together, are they married, or are they already expectin' a wee one?" asked Killigan.

"Yes." came a familiar male voice from the background. Everyone turned to see two familiar figures step out of the shadows. Dr. Drakken was nattily dressed in a dark blue suit, while Shego was clad in a black evening gown and sported an impressive rock on her left hand. It was obvious from her slightly protruding belly that she was also pregnant.

"Got room for 2 more, Senor Senior?" asked Shego.

"Why of course, Ms. Shego. Please have a seat."

"Thank you. And you can call me 'Mrs. Lipsky.'"

* * *

Please keep an eye open for DrakkenShegoProjects to upload all 100 of these stories. They're worth a read.


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